Okay. I'm seriously considering abandoning this thing. I'm somewhat miserable. Yeah, yeah, yeah, apparently sugar withdrawal can take a few weeks, but I don't think I can get through it. I can definitely get on board with the working out 30 minutes a day. (However, yesterday, on day 4, I failed to do my 30 minute workout. Instead of spiraling into a pit of self-loathing, I am trying to focus on doing better today.)
But this no sugar-no white flour-no cow's milk thing is kind of painful; I'm not gonna lie. All I can think about are the food fantasies I'm having of what I'm going to stuff my face with as soon as February is over. So how is that any kind of solution to my need to eat less junk and more veggies? How can I make this Healthy February a long term positive life change if I can't wait for it to be over?
Perhaps I'm just rationalizing. And maybe I can just cheat (again, rationalizing). I don't necessarily have to throw out the whole plan just because I eat a chicken salad sandwich on sourdough from my favorite takeout restaurant. (It's an actual restaurant, I'm just willing to bet I've ordered delivery from them more times than I've actually sat down in the place. Whenever I call and give the lady my address she says, "Oh, hi, how are ya?")
I have a huge problem with perfectionism. Which feeds into my laziness. If I can't do something perfectly, I might as well not do it at all. So I'm faced with an interesting test of character with this whole Healthy February Thing. It's a test of my willingness to do-what-I-said-I-was-gonna-do-and-not-just-what-I-want-to-do, that's for sure, but my perfectionism. It's also making me look at that. Yesterday was somewhat of a success in dealing with this perfectionist monster because even though I failed to work out (a.k.a. failed to be perfect), I did not throw out the whole Healthy February. Not yet anyway. And not writing on the blog for 2 days in a row didn't keep me from coming back today and ranting about my lack of sugar craziness.
Sigh. No matter what I eat today, I'll consider it a success if I do the 30 minute workout. (Rationalizing!)
New Food of the Day: Vegan Brownie
You see how I just can't stay away from the sweets? But even I, lover of sugar, indulger of chocolate, found this brownie to be quite yummy. (I will not divulge the brand name here because, well, this girl doesn't advertise for free.) Made with agave and dark cocoa powder it definitely satisfied my brownie craving.
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Stick with it, Rationalista. The trick - I've learned - is knowing what you're doing it for. If you don't have a clear end goal, you're not going to persevere.
ReplyDeleteSharing that goal with others doesn't help either, I've found. At one point, I even typed out my goal on paper, signed it and taped it to the door -- and I broke that contract in days. Clearly, I too am a perfectionist and partly an obsessive compulsive.
Right now I'm on a very strict regimen that I've created for myself, by myself, and only I know my motivations. Thus far, I've been successful.
Not sure if any of this is helpful, but maybe it's worthwhile that people are reading this blog and yearning for the end result. Keep it up.
Thanks for the support, Madman. You rock.
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